Week 2

The second week took its physical toil. Week two begins with a nostalgic Monday trip to Repulse Bay and Stanley. At Repulse Bay I tried to snap a picture of me sitting on a railing like Doris used to, but I could not find the exact railing or background. Stanley was a disappointment because we had not taken pictures there.
Tuesday of week two was the most tiring. Somehow I was sick but did not realize it until I was in the office. Later my sister-in-law said her husband gave it to me over lunch yesterday. At least there were answers. Also I had blisters and blood clots on both feet from yesterday's trip. It did not help my sermon preparation because I was speaking on Ecclesiastes 2 on Sunday. Chapter 1 was the last message Doris heard from me via internet, and surprisingly gave me a nod of approval.
Wednesday. My stomach system was better after a night and a morning's bout of diarrhea. It made me feel for her bloated stomach and toilet difficulties. Later it was a full day of training and meetings, so I had little time or focus for sermon preparation.
Thursday was a half day. A young man who heard me tell two neighbors my wife had left asked me about Doris. A minute ago he left the cafetaria but said a surprising force gave him courage to approach me. He said he could not hold back his tears reading her story. After sermon preparation and early lunch I went to Media to pick up my wife's old recordings that were released to me through the intervention of a coworker. Reaching my office I cried twice holding the two disks. There were eight recordings, both twenty minutes long, in two parts. The recordings were made the year after we arrived in Hong Kong in 2008 but before she contracted cancer.
On Friday I had the best morning so far but still out of breath and no energy. At least I didn't feel like avoiding neighbors. It was the best morning yet for me to work on my Sunday message. At night I was inspired to use Doris' last blog message for Ecclesiastes 2.
With time on my hands Saturday morning I had the sudden urge to use Doris' binoculars she bought less than two months ago on a bird watching trip offered by a friend. Her sister suggested donating the HK$1,600 binoculars two days after Doris had left, but I would have none of it so soon. I took two pictures of birds in two separate trees. Then I paid a visit to the postal office to pick up a surprise registration package for Doris. It was her 2016-2017 Psychological Society membership certificate that is good till May 2017. I could not help but cry again. My wife worked so hard for so long for so many things.
Sunday morning I took the young man to a nearby church in the island before I left for mine. Reaching the 18th floor brought back memories and tears. Doris used to sit on the third row with me. I had to hold back the emotions or the sermon would be unclear. It was okay, and the emotions burst like a dam again after preaching, though not as bad as last week. At night a group took me to Sai Kung to take my mind off things. Last night I slept less than four hours.
第二個禮拜很疲累。第二個星期由週一淺水灣和赤柱的懷舊之旅開始。在淺水灣，我試圖拍一張我坐在Doris曾經坐過的欄桿上的照片，可是我找不到那個欄桿或背景。赤柱令人失望，因為我們從來沒有在那裡拍過照。
星期二是最累的。不知怎麽回事，自己生病了卻還意識不到，直到回到辦公室的時候。後來Doris的姐姐說，應該是她的丈夫昨天一起吃午飯的時候傳染給我的。至少現在知道了原由。此外，我的雙腳因昨天之走路都起了水泡，還有血塊，這對我準備講道的工作不太有幫助 - 禮拜天崇拜我會講傳道書第二章。 Doris最後一次聽我講道，是從網上聽的傳道書第一章，而且還驚訝得到了她的高度評價。
星期三。我的腸胃經過一晚上和一早上的拉肚子之後，覺得好一點了。這讓我體會到她所經歷过的 - 浮腫的肚子以及排泄的困難。接下來是一整天的培訓和會議，所以我沒有很多時間和精力準備講道。
週四工作半天。一個年輕人聽到我告訴兩個鄰居Doris已經離世，他本來已經離開咖啡館了，一分鐘後又回來，向我問起Doris。之後他說：“很奇怪，有一種引力，叫我去大膽的認識你。” 他讀了Doris的故事之後，一直不能控制他的眼淚。準備講道，與美國教會牧者吃了早午飯後，我去影音使團取我太太以前的一批錄音，是通過一位同事的介入和幫助的。回到辦公室，我手里捧着兩張磁碟哭了兩次。兩張磁碟一共有八個錄音，每張20分鐘，有兩部分。這些錄音是我們2008年回港一年之後，她患癌症之前製作的。之後我把錄音上傳
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXFIJrIVtseVk5yKxmdgTzg
週五的早晨是到目前為止，我覺得最好的一個早晨，雖然我仍然沒什麼力氣和神氣，但至少不避開鄰居了。同時這又是最好的早晨準備我禮拜天的講道信息。晚上，我受到 Doris最後一篇的博客文章所啟發，用來作傳道書第二章的信息。
週六早上我有時間，突然有衝動很想用Doris買了不到兩個月的望遠鏡，那時一位朋友帶我們去觀鳥買的。她的姐姐在她離開後兩天，便建議捐贈這副價值HK $ 1,600的望遠鏡，但我從來不想這麼快送走那望遠鏡。我拍了兩張小鳥的照片，它們分別在兩棵樹上。之後，我去了郵局取一件寄給Doris的掛號郵件，是她2016至2017年心理學會會員的證書，到2017年5月才過期。我又忍不住哭了起來 - 我的妻子在許多事上用不少時間都勤奮努力！
禮拜天早上，回恩福堂之前，我帶星期四遇到的年輕人去到家附近的教堂。到教會18樓又哭了。我必須控制住情緒，不然講道會不清晰。講道時還可以，可是講道之後，情緒又再次像缺堤的水壩一樣爆發，雖然沒有上週那麼嚴重。晚上有一組弟兄姊妹帶我去西貢散散心。當天晚上我睡眠時間不足四小時。
Victor Yap 葉福成 June 7