Week forty eight was a memorable week with my brother and his wife in town and Doris' 11th month of loss. Monday was a holiday due Easter the day before but it was more like a weekend, a sleepy one for me too in the morning. Nevertheless I started working on the Emmaus sermon I did not get to preach over Easter, giving the opportunity to my predecessor. I plan to include it into Doris' Lent devotions that she left behind. At night I spent dinner with my predecessor, the smartest guy at work in his heyday. It was his last day in HK after two months here. The sharing was good because he could talk transparently, partly because he too had spent decades overseas, so we are on the same wavelength.
Day 2 begins a comedy of errors and a lot of sweat in trying to obtain a new visa to China. When I finally submitted my application I signed at the wrong place, so there was another delay. Then the agent did not submit my application for fear of rejection and being blacklisted. China is becoming a nightmare for believers with a foreign passport like me. My travel agent and I spent the next three days getting the information right. Even then I won't know by next week if my visa is approved. I also gave a few hundred dollars to support a young seminarian to missions.
On Wednesday I went through a co-workers upcoming sermon with him. A passionate speaker, he is very thorough but still lacked understanding in structure. It was a joy and a challenge to explain again to him because of his high intelligence and full China upbringing but he's still unsure if structure is that important and meaningful.
Day 4 is delivery of our new book 求祢使我痊癒. I ordered 700 books, of which 300 of them is meant for 三宗 that meets the anniversary week of Doris memorial service. Last year I started giving the participants, so may the Lord bless it's use. At night my brother David and Siew Huay took a direct shuttle to the island all by themselves. We had northern food at Tsing Yi.
On Friday we had breakfast with two buddies who witnessed to my brother over yum cha. I had to leave earlier for meeting and left the job to my two trusted friends. At noon I had my evaluation, something I did not look forward to because of a previous misunderstanding not on my part. Tough talk does nothing, only soft power works. It ended well. I even apologized for any embarrassment I caused. I agree I have not reached my potential, but I believe in helping others succeed, not helping promote myself. I had prayer with my group and a buddy cut my hair for Doris' 11th month of loss tomorrow. At night I took my brother out for wonton noodles and dessert.
Day 6 I took compensated leave to take my brother David and his wife to Stanley, a place he recognized for the prison from Chinese movies. For dinner we had Korean food at Sorabol. We had a good make-up time because we seldom see each other. Today was the 11th month of Doris' loss but my brother kept me busy enough to lose focus.
On Sunday I took David and wife to church. Praise God for once they were not bored after past failed experiments attending church to find unimpressive speakers, in his view. At night they wanted to eat Cantonese food, so went to Tsing yi for food and mall.
April 25, 2017
Tuesday, April 25, 2017
Tuesday, April 18, 2017
Week 47
Week forty seven was another good dream week. On Monday Doris' little school "sister" came from Toronto and brought a beautiful bouquet of flowers to visit Doris rest at home. We searched some of Doris' old letters to find two cards that belonged to her. One of my goals is to return to the sender's the old cards they sent to Doris.
On Day 2 the flowers I bought for Doris during Ching Ming bloomed to a rich fragrance. The flowers her sister brought as well as from the Canadian visitor yesterday made the room a sight to behold, so much so that I told Doris, "You look good, Baby!"
On Wednesday a swimmer told me her pool story. She suffered from 左骨神經線 and walked with a limp on her right foot. After various treatments she asked her acupuncturist, "Would swimming work?" "They can," said the doctor. Further, her island daughter urged her saying, Would you rather spend money seeing doctors or swim? Her daughter even offered to pay the $350 an hour training for her swimming, altogether more than $10,000 for her mother to finally learn how to swim. She called herself dumb and old - over 60, but now she travels daily to the island clubhouse for her swim.
Day 4 morning I woke up to a dream of Doris and I introducing her niece to L A. Regent Cafeteria, telling the niece we had taken a distant relative there for lunch before. We realized our error because the two girls are rivals. After lunch I picked up Doris' will and lawyer forms to apply for probate in order to get our tax refund. The lawyer was Doris friend who did not charge us. When the paperwork was done tears rolled down from my eyes near MTR thinking of the will I saw for the first time and the blessing from her friend. At night I had a bigger Thanksgiving, finally finishing the 38 chapter 職場 book Doris almost completed. I had finished it more than a month earlier than the expected date of Doris' loss, May 22. Now I pray for a publisher with similar vision, intent and passion.
On Friday morning I returned to our favoriteTung Chung cafeteria to relive old memories. At noon I wiped the tears from my eyes to the Good Friday message. I mingled Jesus' sacrifice, Doris' suffering and the speaker's sickness to a good cry.
The holidays continued through Saturday. I went to morning dim sum with Doris' sisters to get her original death certificate for probate because mine is in USA. Departing at 330pm ferry I even found a store that has celery for a drink. I definitely need one for my high blood pressure, even ordering one more for take-out.
I joined the early Easter 630am worship but to a lack of sleep. The Emmaus sermons gave me a lot of thought since I had checked out the passage a day earlier. My next project is to work with the Lent devotions Doris left behind. From the gospel accounts the texts I need to work on include three gospel texts, one from Isiah and no more than five from Paul.
Finally a song from Good Friday that touched me:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PddS4i_U-IE
May 18, 2017
On Day 2 the flowers I bought for Doris during Ching Ming bloomed to a rich fragrance. The flowers her sister brought as well as from the Canadian visitor yesterday made the room a sight to behold, so much so that I told Doris, "You look good, Baby!"
On Wednesday a swimmer told me her pool story. She suffered from 左骨神經線 and walked with a limp on her right foot. After various treatments she asked her acupuncturist, "Would swimming work?" "They can," said the doctor. Further, her island daughter urged her saying, Would you rather spend money seeing doctors or swim? Her daughter even offered to pay the $350 an hour training for her swimming, altogether more than $10,000 for her mother to finally learn how to swim. She called herself dumb and old - over 60, but now she travels daily to the island clubhouse for her swim.
Day 4 morning I woke up to a dream of Doris and I introducing her niece to L A. Regent Cafeteria, telling the niece we had taken a distant relative there for lunch before. We realized our error because the two girls are rivals. After lunch I picked up Doris' will and lawyer forms to apply for probate in order to get our tax refund. The lawyer was Doris friend who did not charge us. When the paperwork was done tears rolled down from my eyes near MTR thinking of the will I saw for the first time and the blessing from her friend. At night I had a bigger Thanksgiving, finally finishing the 38 chapter 職場 book Doris almost completed. I had finished it more than a month earlier than the expected date of Doris' loss, May 22. Now I pray for a publisher with similar vision, intent and passion.
On Friday morning I returned to our favoriteTung Chung cafeteria to relive old memories. At noon I wiped the tears from my eyes to the Good Friday message. I mingled Jesus' sacrifice, Doris' suffering and the speaker's sickness to a good cry.
The holidays continued through Saturday. I went to morning dim sum with Doris' sisters to get her original death certificate for probate because mine is in USA. Departing at 330pm ferry I even found a store that has celery for a drink. I definitely need one for my high blood pressure, even ordering one more for take-out.
I joined the early Easter 630am worship but to a lack of sleep. The Emmaus sermons gave me a lot of thought since I had checked out the passage a day earlier. My next project is to work with the Lent devotions Doris left behind. From the gospel accounts the texts I need to work on include three gospel texts, one from Isiah and no more than five from Paul.
Finally a song from Good Friday that touched me:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PddS4i_U-IE
May 18, 2017
Tuesday, April 11, 2017
Week 46
Week forty six was a week of dreams but none with Doris in it. On Monday I woke up to a USA friend remarking that my pants were too big or fashionable. In the morning I ended up telling another friend I did not appreciate what he said to me the night before. It was embarrassing and possibly detrimental to a new-found friendship. May the Lord heal. At night Doris' school friend texted me: Tomorrow is Ching Ming festival. Hope u r ok. Remember u in prayer
Victor Yap: Her sisters with me
Friend: Good !
Victor Yap: She lives in my heart
Friend: Yes
Tuesday was Ching Ming holiday for folks to sweep tombs. I woke up at 4am to these questions: What does it mean to me? How do I feel? One thing was different: Doris was at home, not at tombs! It was a serene day actually. After a bit of writing in the morning I went back to bed near 10am because I woke up too early. Near noon I went to Prince Edward to get flowers for Doris even though her sisters said they'll do it. The day was too beautiful and too special to stay at home. After having a quick lunch at my favorite place introduced by a buddy I bought resurrection lilies for Doris and some cookies for friends. At 6pm her sisters arrived to bring flowers to show their love for baby sister. We had hotpot with the food I bought for the occasion.
On Wednesday night I watched the first chapter of 2017 Condor Heroes on the tube. The night before I was fascinated by its showing on CCTV, but one of the villains has died, so I had to start from the beginning.
On Thursday I woke to my second dream of having a sports car that has a handy sloping underground parking spot exactly the size of one car. The purpose was to get away from bad guys.
On Friday I used the compensated day to revised more chapters. A friend asked me to listen to his talk, which I had a great time doing since I can lend a ear to something important to him and give my feedback. I secretly wished I can help him get his article published.
On Saturday I had a masseur to work on my stiff right arm for two hours. It has been stiff for more than two months, increasingly getting worse, so it was high time to attend to it. At noon I had to rush to the office to do prestudy questions with two new reps from another fellowship zone. All enjoy it tremendously. After study I was so spent a buddy and I went to tea before I head to fellowship, eat and head home. What a long day.
The next day was longer still. I spoke at North point before heading back to church, ate a burger , then sat on a waiting car to Ma On Shan for fellowship leaders retreat. For three hours they expertly learned the grammar Bible, practised writing a short devotion and acted a sketch. Praise God at night I have finished revising 30 職場 chapters. All's well that ends well for the day. At the camp an old song touched me, reminding me the fair and frail bride of Christ:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oKd3wUNfrrs
April 11, 2017
Victor Yap: Her sisters with me
Friend: Good !
Victor Yap: She lives in my heart
Friend: Yes
Tuesday was Ching Ming holiday for folks to sweep tombs. I woke up at 4am to these questions: What does it mean to me? How do I feel? One thing was different: Doris was at home, not at tombs! It was a serene day actually. After a bit of writing in the morning I went back to bed near 10am because I woke up too early. Near noon I went to Prince Edward to get flowers for Doris even though her sisters said they'll do it. The day was too beautiful and too special to stay at home. After having a quick lunch at my favorite place introduced by a buddy I bought resurrection lilies for Doris and some cookies for friends. At 6pm her sisters arrived to bring flowers to show their love for baby sister. We had hotpot with the food I bought for the occasion.
On Wednesday night I watched the first chapter of 2017 Condor Heroes on the tube. The night before I was fascinated by its showing on CCTV, but one of the villains has died, so I had to start from the beginning.
On Thursday I woke to my second dream of having a sports car that has a handy sloping underground parking spot exactly the size of one car. The purpose was to get away from bad guys.
On Friday I used the compensated day to revised more chapters. A friend asked me to listen to his talk, which I had a great time doing since I can lend a ear to something important to him and give my feedback. I secretly wished I can help him get his article published.
On Saturday I had a masseur to work on my stiff right arm for two hours. It has been stiff for more than two months, increasingly getting worse, so it was high time to attend to it. At noon I had to rush to the office to do prestudy questions with two new reps from another fellowship zone. All enjoy it tremendously. After study I was so spent a buddy and I went to tea before I head to fellowship, eat and head home. What a long day.
The next day was longer still. I spoke at North point before heading back to church, ate a burger , then sat on a waiting car to Ma On Shan for fellowship leaders retreat. For three hours they expertly learned the grammar Bible, practised writing a short devotion and acted a sketch. Praise God at night I have finished revising 30 職場 chapters. All's well that ends well for the day. At the camp an old song touched me, reminding me the fair and frail bride of Christ:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oKd3wUNfrrs
April 11, 2017
Tuesday, April 4, 2017
Week 45
Week forty five continues my dream week. On Monday I went with a fellowship friend to watch the movie Silence. He was disturbed by the negative depiction, I can understand, so I won't recommend it unhesitatingly. Most moviegoers forget about the other heroic missionary who sacrificed his life to rescue believers who were drowned for their faith. Another thing to bear in mind is the Catholic priest's burden as the representative of God, thereby the key element in the inquisitor's plan was to make him apostatize to cause others to stumble when previously the believers would not apostatize. The third observation is that believers did prosper in Japan for a while until the priests' apostasy.
Tuesday was another boring week, unchallenged by the lack of preaching new sermons. Now I have eight half done sermons. The only new thing is welcoming a new coworker W at lunch.
Wednesday I woke up to a fourth week dreaming of Doris. She asked me, "Do you wanna go for a walk at the beach?" As usual, we were also driving, but this time to a strange house. At one time, I was looking for a restroom. At night a neighbor and his wife offered a ear massage to treat my high blood pressure, bless their heart!
On Thursday I received news that my former church chairman suddenly died of leukemia. The person who notified me talked to him on Sunday but he was hospitalized on Tuesday and died Thursday 1am. Poor family, there is no grief like no preparation for the family, Doris used to say. At night I had dinner at Sheung Wan with my prayer partners and my mentor, who will be returning to L.A. after a short but rewarding stint at ABS. He's such a wonderful person, I cannot say enough of Herman. However, he too failed trying to encourage me to move on; maybe what I need is just not to stand still or be stuck. At night a buddy's wife had a dream:
"Last night I dreamed of Doris for the first time. The background was unknown, she looked healthy but serious, she told me there were many good restaurants near her office,西餐廳、cafe and bakery ...then she laughed."
On Friday our department had a birthday lunch as well as to welcome my department predecessor. Our department has grown stronger and the relationship sweeter the three years I have been here. By God's grace I have matured in the mentoring part. On Friday I wept as I searched for the emails Doris sent to Herman and another good friend in USA, of which I will release the second below:
Dear Michael, Michelle, Herman & Eleanor,
I have previously sent very similar emails to you asking for support for Victor.
I am so very eager to be with the Lord but I know it is difficult for Victor to let go. Please pray that God will guide us on the same page so we can have peace about His will together. We want to embrace God's will for us individually and as a couple.
Thanks!
Doris
Saturday was the first week I returned to lead prestudy for my fellowship after a prolonged absence to care for Doris. Thankfully, the group was receptive to the study. I had inherited a lot of pointers from Doris and experience from fellowship talks since on how to run a group. The laughable moment was I wanted to eat a durian mochi from a foam box, but got a mango version instead from a wrong box , and later a strawberry version until one of the members grabbed the final correct durian onr for me!
After teaching my last Sunday school lesson the week before, I was free on Sunday to exercise without hurry in the pool. I found my weak toes were strengthened from a swimmer's tip to jog on top of the drainage manhole in the pool where the irregular surface can massage my feet. It really worked today on the second day of exercise. At night a flood of tears swept over me thinking of going to Shanghai two years after our last trip together. I later had a misunderstanding with a friend who tried to care for me with a Bible verse, but I was not up for it, taking it as another call to move on. It made me regret even sharing my pain. It was not entirely the person's fault, but it was not the remedy I need. By the end of the week I had finished all 16 chapters of the OT marketplace passages in two weeks of revision, praise God!
Apr 4, 2017
Tuesday was another boring week, unchallenged by the lack of preaching new sermons. Now I have eight half done sermons. The only new thing is welcoming a new coworker W at lunch.
Wednesday I woke up to a fourth week dreaming of Doris. She asked me, "Do you wanna go for a walk at the beach?" As usual, we were also driving, but this time to a strange house. At one time, I was looking for a restroom. At night a neighbor and his wife offered a ear massage to treat my high blood pressure, bless their heart!
On Thursday I received news that my former church chairman suddenly died of leukemia. The person who notified me talked to him on Sunday but he was hospitalized on Tuesday and died Thursday 1am. Poor family, there is no grief like no preparation for the family, Doris used to say. At night I had dinner at Sheung Wan with my prayer partners and my mentor, who will be returning to L.A. after a short but rewarding stint at ABS. He's such a wonderful person, I cannot say enough of Herman. However, he too failed trying to encourage me to move on; maybe what I need is just not to stand still or be stuck. At night a buddy's wife had a dream:
"Last night I dreamed of Doris for the first time. The background was unknown, she looked healthy but serious, she told me there were many good restaurants near her office,西餐廳、cafe and bakery ...then she laughed."
On Friday our department had a birthday lunch as well as to welcome my department predecessor. Our department has grown stronger and the relationship sweeter the three years I have been here. By God's grace I have matured in the mentoring part. On Friday I wept as I searched for the emails Doris sent to Herman and another good friend in USA, of which I will release the second below:
Dear Michael, Michelle, Herman & Eleanor,
I have previously sent very similar emails to you asking for support for Victor.
I am so very eager to be with the Lord but I know it is difficult for Victor to let go. Please pray that God will guide us on the same page so we can have peace about His will together. We want to embrace God's will for us individually and as a couple.
Thanks!
Doris
Saturday was the first week I returned to lead prestudy for my fellowship after a prolonged absence to care for Doris. Thankfully, the group was receptive to the study. I had inherited a lot of pointers from Doris and experience from fellowship talks since on how to run a group. The laughable moment was I wanted to eat a durian mochi from a foam box, but got a mango version instead from a wrong box , and later a strawberry version until one of the members grabbed the final correct durian onr for me!
After teaching my last Sunday school lesson the week before, I was free on Sunday to exercise without hurry in the pool. I found my weak toes were strengthened from a swimmer's tip to jog on top of the drainage manhole in the pool where the irregular surface can massage my feet. It really worked today on the second day of exercise. At night a flood of tears swept over me thinking of going to Shanghai two years after our last trip together. I later had a misunderstanding with a friend who tried to care for me with a Bible verse, but I was not up for it, taking it as another call to move on. It made me regret even sharing my pain. It was not entirely the person's fault, but it was not the remedy I need. By the end of the week I had finished all 16 chapters of the OT marketplace passages in two weeks of revision, praise God!
Apr 4, 2017
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