Week thirty five climaxed with eight months without my beloved Doris. On Monday I stayed at home till 430pm when I arrived at Yuen Long to meet a family from Couples Fellowship at their new residence, where we were joined by a coworker couple. I enjoyed the carefree talk we had. Knowing the reception, I did my hour long prayer walk at noon after lunch at my favorite island eatery.
At Tuesday's coworker Chinese New Year lunch there were some tears from singing the song 依靠耶和華. No matter how I widened my eyes to hold back the tears, it didn't work. When the chair asked coworkers to greet each other with the song title or say God bless you, I turned to my coworker and said, How do I say it 點講好？He expertly replied, No need to say 唔洗講。
The next day I wrote down a quote from Nouwen's book: Life is from dependence to dependence. He refers to our helplessness as a babe to a senior. I met a neighbor who had cancer and she told of reading Doris' blog book many times to comfort herself, praise God! At night I attended the funeral of a parent to one of our cell group leaders. It was the least I could do knowing how tough grief was for the family.
On Thursday I was refused medical checkup because my ID was not in my wallet. Worse, I did not know when I lost it but it must be after my USA trip. What a bummer. I called immigration twice to find a next day appointment. I also wasted my overnight fasting. At office I was encouraged by study on Psalms 13 for my future sermon. Three months ago I cried like a baby hearing it read at a retreat, but now it lifted me up.
The next day I had a midnoon appointment with a seminary student that turned up well. It is not my forte to mingle with those less than 30, but I'm getting the hang of it. The new committee 交職禮 for Couples Fellowship was inaugurated at night, for lack of better word. I was designated to lead Bible study for them on the book of Acts till they find a new pastor (not much prospect).
On Saturday morning's worship I met an oncologist who saw Doris once free and gave consultation generously. I called his name and he invited me sit with him and his wife. He said he saw me but was unsure if I remembered him. It was his first time attending Saturday morning worship and my only time there as a non speaker to hear the topic of God's kingdom that was not preached. During worship I was moved to pray for them, and they were thrilled. I learned from the day's message that asked, How did you experience God lately? Doris learned faster than me in the joy of experiencing God. Later in mid noon a buddy cut my hair to get ready for the special day tomorrow. Many are catching up to why I cut my hair short on a particular day.
Sunday is eight months without Doris. All was well until before bed when the dam broke. I asked myself, Did I do or care enough? Why did she leave me? Numerous questions, but no answers. I held on to her favorite Korean blanket to sleep the night away.
Finally the bittersweet song Tuesday that evokes memories:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oOwAENjQ4xI
Jan 24, 2017
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