Week 34

Week thirty four was a blessing in disguise. On Monday I had lunch with a friend who is returning to Canada for ministry due health reasons 四高 after five years in HK. After lunch I went to a bookstore with a USA friend who also wanted to have a look at his old church. At the bookstore a worker replied when I asked for 同作門徒：冇曬咗! Later we visited his old pastor and wife, who had insomnia for two years since her brother committed suicide twelve years ago and her sister is also depressed. She herself came out of depression lately over a verse - there is no fear in love. When she asked me how I was lately, i said my three weeks trip to USA gave me closure, but my USA friend, an established psychology professor who returns yearly to do research for one of HK's two leading universities, diplomatically chimed in, saying, "Closure is inhumane because it means you have no feelings and connection to the loved one anymore."  I was surprised this is the current view in psychology, so I have to rethink, but I was glad for this new perspective.

The next day I was back to the grind because it was sermon week on another difficult passage, Ecclesiastes 10, a sermon halfway done two months ago before my trip to USA. Worse is there were no illustrations, and translation must be done, so I knew the week and work were not looking good.

On Wednesday I woke up to a silly dream. A coworker was teasing me for being able to hold my tears while Some was eyeing me. It is a change because it is now not about Doris, but my struggles. Another dream this week was about an overcrowded cemetery where people cannot figure out which urn was that of their loved one. 

Thursday was a frustrating IT day. My phone had switched lately to SAFE mode once but it returned to normal, but this time it did not, so I thought I had to reload my WhatsApp since the icon was missing. When I did so I did not realize I had clicked uninstall, so two days of WhatsApp messages were missing when I reinstalled it because backup was two days ago. I could have kicked myself but important messages were resent to me by friends. Most important my abbreviated messages to Doris were still in her phone.

The next day a counselor from a buddy's Fellowship took us out for lunch. It was nice to have folks remembering coworkers for Chinese new year. At night I attended men's Fellowship gospel talk. The biggest surprise was my publisher announced the third edition of our book 同作門徒 in less than a year. I was touched but saddened at the same time. https://www.facebook.com/victor.yap.1401/posts/10155060077774994?notif_t=like&notif_id=1484319092543210

The next day was tiring. The department vetting was in the morning, department yearly lunch was noon, department meeting at two, coffee with a buddy after, prestudy kickoff for a Fellowship studying同作門徒, short dinner, return to fellowship, what a long day. Going home I ironed my clothes and worked on the third point of the sermon.

Sermon day arrived, but not before Sunday school lesson at 845am for 35 students. They truly enjoyed the 同作門徒 class. The sermon was a blessing from God as many thanked me and appreciated it. A critic even came up to me to call an indirect truce. A friend enthused: 感謝主！太太説今天听牧師講道有很大得著！👍🙏👏 聖靈工作，牧師也很用心！ 傳道書作為講章預備很難我覺得。At night I finished reading Henri Nouwen's A Letter of Consolation, a compilation of letters to his upset father when Nouwen's mother passed away, with this concessionary piece from chapter seven: "Now I see why it is false to say that a religious person should find death easy and acceptable. Now I understand why it is wrong to think that a death without struggle and agony is a sign of great faith. These ideas do not make much sense once we realize that faith opens us to the full affirmation of life and gives us an intense desire to live more fully, more vibrantly, and more vigorously. If anyone should protest against death it is the religious person, the person who has increasingly come to know God as the God of the living."

Finally I had to hold back tears listening to this song in Couples Fellowship:
如此認識我
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PvFFG7cyU_c

Jan 17, 2017