Week thirty three was an emotional week for me because it falls within Doris' birthday. On Monday a USA friend asked me to join him for lunch that stretched to five hours. We ate wonton noodles, followed by ramen noodles, then coffee and dessert at IFC, and fruit somewhere else. In the middle of coffee when I wrote about my dream of Doris the previous week waiting for me at a terminal, teardrops fell from my eyes. My friend was kind and sensitive enough to hand me tissues without signaling.
The next day at work I could not wait to continue working on Proverbs 31, the text for Doris' memorial service on June 18, 2016, to be delivered coming May on the occasion of the first year anniversary of Doris' loss. This will be an extended version rather than the shortened version.
On Wednesday morning I went with a buddy to a cremation service for the mother of a coworker. I am more sensitive and supportive after Doris' loss, plus the instinct to keep a buddy company because he's been doing a memorial service for a few weeks now.
The next day I finished watching the second hour of the movie Castle in the Sky that coworkers were talking about when one of them had a robot from the movie for wallscreen. I thanked God who ironically prepared the movie for me pending Doris' birthday two days later. The affection, sacrifice and freshness of youngsters Pazu and Sheeta made me wept before bed, thinking of days with Doris.
Friday was Doris' birthday, relatives alerted me. I was so mindful of the day of her loss but not so her life, so it's a reminder to cherish both. A buddy rushed me to HK's flower streets and I was content with a bunch of five short roses plus other flowers after circling the block the second time. At dinner time when I asked a close friend why her relative having dinner with us never asked me how I was doing, she explained that they do not want to face her death , a trait that runs in the family. After I sent the picture of the flowers to friends, a replied made me tear up: "Happy Birthday Doris!!! She is more beautiful than roses!"
I was invited to fellowship dinner at night. The group and spirit were excellent. I told them my plan for leading the book of Acts for them in April including recruiting leaders from the three zones to write Bible study questions with me once a month. They are far better in Chinese than me since Doris used to write the questions for Fellowship.
Sunday rolled around. A friend of mine said he wanted to dine with me and talk about my future book releases. At noon I was given 1 Cor 15 the resurrection passage and it was difficult for me emotionally at the pulpit. Two songs in two worships that day took a toll on me, 誰能使我與神的愛隔絕 and Come People of the Risen King. It was strange because I was pretty sure the public tears had dried up after USA trip. It was acceptable because I was preaching in an English speaking church. After church I prayed for a younger minister whose first baby died prematurely and the urn internment was days ago. He said he held the urn when it was first available to him and cried. I shared the same thing happened to me. I took the pot in my arms and cried all the way home by bus to the island, and shaved to short hair two days after till present. Few people understand what it feels like to have a loved one's life shortened before reaching the prime of life.
Finally the two songs that touched me this week:
誰能使我與神的愛隔絕
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pLwpVwv7q9Q
Come People of the Risen King
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FTozNg-AaIg
Jan 10, 2017
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