Week twelve was stable but for the weekend. On Monday morning I went to the Kowloon HK revival meeting, which was a helpful tonic to me because I try to go to the venue itself instead of the broadcast locations. I also met a lot of old friends who knew of my loss. After that I have lunch and dessert with two separate friends.
On Tuesday I gave Doris' blog address to a stranger who was crying over the phone at a cafeteria to a friend talking about cancer that hit home, but then she said to me, “Thanks, but it's my dog!”
On Wednesday I helped a coworker brush up on his Putonghua, but it took lots of effort to learn how to pronounce Q, Z, X words. I find I have more patience, compassion and understanding than before, trying to learn from my wife.
On Thursday a coworker asked if I could speak to their fellowship next month to kick off their study of our book Fellow Disciples同作門徒. Pray that the book will catch fire. It was after all Doris last book, but I do have stock of her writings.
On Friday God answered my prayer for a Saturday night sermon in October in a wondrous way. I had no heart in me to preach on Jesus’ temptation from Matt 4 that I had started. I had too much going to bother about kingdom, power and glory issues. After searching for the subject of the greatest prayers in the Bible, the related passage of Psalms 91 popped up, so I reverted instead to Luke 4 where protection of God is the climax unlike Matt 4. My struggle with Doris death can be addressed!
On Saturday I had a dream of Doris where she was anxious about taking medication and we talked about returning to University. It was just a few scenes. I also had a good time with Putonghua fellowship on the first chapter of Fellow Disciples
On Sunday I was ok but the last song changed everything. I cried louder than previous month. Like my godly wife I persevered to attend church monthly prayer meeting. At night I celebrated my birthday with the same group from last year, eating at the same restaurant, buying the same mango cake and wearing the same shirt. Linkage with past comforts grieving folks.
Pray for my trip to Taiwan on Thursday. I need to hear from God, feel His presence and have spiritual intake. Also I need a break and to connect with my brother and his wife who are joining me. Best of all, if we can attend church together.
Aug 16
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