Week eleven was not an intended piece but things happen that was worth journaling, at the foremost was a dream. On Monday a USA friend and another putonghua friend wanted to have seafood with me , but rain was in the way midway due an impeding strom, so we ate oysters in a mall.
On Tuesday the level 8 typhoon touched down trapped all at home until it was lifted at 1245pm, so I had to return for 3pm meeting. A song touched me in our prayer meeting. I could not pray and another cried with me. The alarmed pastor invited me to dinner.
Wednesday I woke up to a vivid dream of Doris sitting by our enclosed balcony window sitting in an upright position on our mattress with her back against the wall and her feet halfway raised to her chest. She looked scared as she retreated to the corner to pray. I related the dream to some coworkers. It was a warm dream and the real Doris I know. Each time she appears I gladly feel her again. There is no fear or fuss in love.
On Thursday I received a morning text from Doris' close friend telling me how much Doris was a blessing, a sister and a help to her when the friend was hospitalized, going to see the friend in need even when Doris was not well. Tears rolled down my eyes when I pictured the scene.
On Friday I had to work twice as hard as my Ecclesiastes 5 sermon was two days away. By 6pm I had finished the three points but was still short one illustration. At night I joined Couples Fellowship for the live broadcast of Revival Meeting.
On Saturday the illustration came to me, using Doris' final message to Couples prestudy group months ago: "I still need you to be on watch (for me), as the passage reminds us today. I have previously shared with others to share, I'm very scared that in sickness and pain I would blame God, because sometimes you don’t think you would, but how would you actually respond? So this passage reminds us not to be like Peter to face it alone, it’s best with prayer and support from brothers and sisters, not only directed to me, but also for fellowship brothers and sisters to establish a watch group for all. My situation is that my pain has really increased. Because sometimes you know pain can diminish a person's will, make the person go downhill, but I will continue to rely on the Lord. Victor and I are daily praying, to commit ourselves to God s. No matter God's plan, I have to believe that God's plan is good. Thus, on the one hand I am positively readying myself to face God; but I still believe God can heal us, because the two is, like I shared with a friend yesterday, like a paradox, but I really think you need both, because God can always heal us even in a delay, because we remember in Lazarus story there to be a delay. But no matter what we must believe that the Lord can resurrect you, either in this life, or in the future, so we often pray in this manner, that is to be ready in both moods. I am happy I can be here today. If my mind is up to it, I will do my best to come to monitor you so you won’t be long-winded. (Sept 5, 2016)
On Sunday all's well that ends well. Ecclesiastes 5 was just about right. I gave the benediction the normal way after ten shaky ones. At night I accepted a dinner invitation from my neighbor for the first time in ten weeks. I also decided to preach on Jesus temptation in the wilderness after rejecting it as meaningless when Doris passed away, but then I read an article saying the related passage of Psalm 91 is one of ten great prayers in the Bible, so I reinstated it.
Praise the Lord for His goodness and guidance in grief and grievances!
Aug 9, 2016
No comments:
Post a Comment