Week thirty eight was a "dream" week. On Monday I took Doris' former Queens University alum and wife home to view her urn. So far the most guests are from her Queens friends living overseas, including Derek and Wilford. I even took them a walk to the old village and pier and found their old photos attending our wedding in our album, so I gave the doubles and scanned others for them.
The next day at coworkers prayer meeting was painful. Prayer meeting usually evokes memories in me, especially the songs and collective prayers of forgiveness and healing. I wept because I understand how hard it is for our group to move on or move forward because I have similar problems, so I disappear from view before the end.
On Wednesday I caught a Miyazaki movie My Neighbor Totoro and identified with the two young girls who waited for their sick mom's release from hospital. When the hospital sent a telegram to tell them their mom's release has been delayed the youngest sister decided to look for her mom in a city hours away. I had to hold back my tears, but the father's words were heartening: "They will just postpone the enjoyment." I will have to postpone my enjoyment too.
The following day I woke to a dream of Doris bothered by flies in her sleep. She usually dreamed of dogs, rats and bugs in her sleep. When I asked her if she wants to go swimming with me, she says, "Let's go during the first session."
On Friday I had a department meeting, but I was not well for the next two days. I met Doris' sister for dinner before our fellowship. She really tried to keep my spirits up, even cooking two dishes for me to take home.
On Saturday I bought lilies for Doris because the shop closed last night after 7 pm. My mentor and neighbors would be visiting me tomorrow. Also, the flowers at home are fading.
On Sunday morning I had to take 750am bus to avoid the marathon traffic. In Sunday school I had a difficult discipleship passage but now I can understand how Luke 9:24-26 connects to the previous verse's imperatives - deny, take up and follow. After church my mentor Herman 鄧灼文 and wife Eleanor went home with me to pay respect to Doris. More passionate and compassionate than me, he led in the crying. At night I hosted hotpot for a neighbor and his two young sons while their mom is on short term missions. I was a good host!
Finally Sunday's song still brings tears to my eyes:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bQ4DF3TsOt0
Feb 18, 2017
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