Week 24

Week twenty four brings back lots of memories of Doris. On Monday I returned to our indoor club house for the first time in my recollection because the outdoor pool is closed on Monday mornings. I exercised in the pool often looking directly at the lounge chair where Doris often slept contentedly before swimming. I could not help but wiped some tears away. The reason why I had to exercise in the morning was I had to join workers retreat. I was bawling the first day when the song Thank You Lord was played, one that Doris sang and played music to:
Thank you, Lord,
for the trials that come my way.
In that way I can grow each day
as I let you lead,
And thank you, Lord,
for the patience those trials bring.
In that process of growing,
I can learn to care.
But it goes against the way
I am to put my human nature down
and let the Spirit take control of all I do.
Cause when those trials come,
my human nature shouts the thing to do;
and God's soft prompting 
can be easily ignored.
The intensity caused anxiety to one who asked me if I need to see a psychologist. A friend that night told me his eight year old child was crying lately for fear his mom would die one day.

On Tuesday's prayer walk a song played in my mind with the last line 世間始終妳好. That was too much for me as I could only think of Doris' love for me. No heights or peaks are comparable. I still miss her terribly.

On Wednesday a friend of Doris texted me of his wife's scary episode of almost losing her life previous weekend due SVT, which made me thankful for him but anxious for his loss. His
wife's heart Jumped from a nornal 130 to 230 heartbeat. Praise God she survived the episode with help of doctor's timely intervention. Alex: Morning Victor! Remember you this morning! Somehow saw Doris in my prayer! I didn't feel upset but peaceful with her presence! 

On Thursday I had no time to waste. I had to race against time to ready my Sunday sermon and there were meetings to attend next day. There were lots to do because our department assistant has transferred to another department. Even though I was working half day from noon on, I arrived in the morning to focus on my preparation.

I had lunch with a Fellowship leader on Friday. That was followed by department meeting and a later meeting with leader rep. Waiting for the rep I decided to text friends of the arrival 文法聖經, which I was too busy for the last ten days to do. At night I finally got flowers for Doris that I missed doing a day ago.

I had missed hours in preparation because of persistent meetings, so Saturday I had to finalize my sermon, which is easier said than done on Ecclesiastes 9, but it was finally done. I attended Fellowship at night , which has switched to an earlier 545pm.

Sunday arrived and so did anxiety because we were without an assistant for the first time as long as anyone could remember, but all went well except I went overtime. To add icing on the cake a lady accepted Christ after worship. I met an old friend who was having a rough time in ministry, so I am thinking about asking him to take my place if that would help. At night I attended a wedding dinner but I felt so weird, lost and uneasy without Doris.

Nov 8