Monday, May 31, 2010

Second Cycle, Jun 2010

Wife's veins were swollen on the third day after the second injection on May 25th. Mocha was tasteless on the fourth day. We tried using a cream (Hirudoid) a colleague suggested but the effect was minimal. The domestic helper could not come last week, but we coped quite well, so we are thinking of using less help, which frees Wife to do work and think by herself at home.

Wife has been giving me ideas for the preface of my new book 比喻人生, which my editor requested. The preface is much harder to do. All I wanted to do was to complete the task, but she reminded me of my dream in expository preaching. After working on it last night and this morning, I sent it to her for checking and she replied: "I think it is great in English! I don't know after translation whether this would be lost. The preface allows more storytelling about you as a person too." I dedicated the book to her, which she declined. Rev. Choy has been most gracious, agreeing to write a recommendation of 100 words for my book on the same day (June 9th) I e-mailed him. The editor-at-large had warned me when I presented him with a recommendation wish list: "O! That is a very strong list. They are all very busy, so you better ask and send material to them as soon as possible." Recommendation deadline is end of August.

Today (16th) is SAR public holiday in Hong Kong. We have a restful day after yesterday's third injection. I bought food for soup just after my morning pool exercise, before the crowd swelled at the supermarket. Breakfast is French bread, and lunch is noodles. In between I was stuck to live TV cheering the Lakers against Celtics as they cream their rivals in Game 6 of the NBA Finals. Wife's friend from college days visited her for half an hour before lunch. They had a good talk and a good walk as well.

I was powerless to help Wife who suffered a lot of pain on the third day (17th) of the third injection due to her swollen arm. She could not sleep or rest and her injected arm was black. The pain was evident on the first day as well, somehow bypassing the second day, which is a public holiday. Shortly before I woke up the next morning, I had a dream she was crying. Her San Diego sister who is visiting Hong Kong was in the dream as well. As I told an overseas church memeber, "Every day is a blessing. Everyday is a bonus. Everyday is a battle." At night we listened to Somewhere Out There.

Wife was at her functional best yesterday (22nd) after a trip to Starbucks in the morning. Her eyes were big and bright all day. It seems mocha at home does not do the same job. She is thretaening to go again tomorrow. After the caffeine wore out, she was flat, drained and listless the next day. On Thursday (24th)she woke up and yesterday's day-long headache was gone, praise the Lord.

I could not bear to listen to the USA vs Algeria minute-by-minute gamecast on ESPN. All was not well when residents erupted in cheers in our apartment complex, which means England has scored, much to delight of previously-colonized Hong Kong fans. It also means USA was on the way out unless they score, which they did 1-0 in overtime. At half-time I turned off my PC. I knew we had won the next morning when I saw the highlights on TV before going to work, but later in the day only did I realize it was done in overtime. Ghana is next.

Wife was in a happy mood today (29th). I know for sure because she was singing. We are waiting for the dreaded 4th injection next week, otherwise known as the taxotere regimen. Yesterday was a terrible day for me. I ate a breakfast that sent me to the bathroom three times. At night after the first night of the intensive class I was so tired, but I woke at 4 am and could not go back to sleep, so I was dead the whole morning at work.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

The Dreaded C Word, May 2010

The first day of the month started off on a bright note. We went out for breakfast, followed by Italian breakfast, took a nap and ended with a walk in the park. All went well but for a lump in the armpit at night shortly before rest. Our worst nightmare could begin again. I woke up before 5 am praying that it did not rear its ugly head again. Lots of thoughts crossed my mind, wondering what God is doing. I am sure we cannot go through an operation all over again. No doubt feelings of "being punished" surfaced. It couldn't come at a worse time. We are feeling helpless because we can only see the doctor tomorrow and chemotherapy is supposed to start in two days. Tears rolled down our eyes when we had Sunday breakfast together. Per request, I sang a song for our comfort. The emotions ran high into the night. The next day the doctor assured us the lump was unlikely cancerous.

We went on a tiring one-day trip to Macau yesterday (7th) for some unfinished business at the hospital, as requested by the school. The rains poured in the morning, stopped when we left for Macau at noon, and drizzled when we returned to Ma Wan. Into the fourth day of chemotherapy, Wife had more energy than me. I napped twice as the humidity worked overtime. Her health held up the whole time we were there but she slept on the ferry returning to Ma Wan. All praises to God. Next week is a crucial test; already her face is swollen this morning.

Into the fifth day, Wife drank two bowls of soup, with rice added, in the morning. Soup is appealing, but not food. After that the appetite disappeared the whole day, eating only a potato for lunch and bits of spare ribs/pineapple. Everything is bland except for pineapple. She feels like vomiting to meat. Wife had mocha in the afternoon after church, which made her day. Day 7 comes with acnes on the face and day 8 by swelling in the mouth. Day 9, the acnes have been aching the last two days. Wife discovered the soothing and healing power of bitter gourd for days 9 and 10, using it as paste for her hurting acnes. On day 11, after day 10's faint spell and shortness of breath, all is well. Happy as a lark, she grabbed a cup of mocha today (14th). Days 7 through 10 of the three-week cycle are supposedly the toughest to bear due to the lower white blood cell count.

The new normal since day 11 is quite pleasant even though hair is noticeable all over the tub today (day 15). On the same day we went out for Dialogue in the Dark exhibition, a worthwhile exploration into the world of the visually impaired or the blind. We were led by a blind guide into a darkened and spacious room, stepping into a grass area and then a stony (pebbles) area, feeling our way around assisted by a cane. I held on to Wife's shoulder as she led the way, later depending solely on my cane. Rich sounds of birds, rivers, and insects surround us. Without giving anything away, our guide expertly guided us as we mainly depended on our touch and cane to figure out a tree, flowers, a bench, a waterfall, fruits (orange, apple, onion, carrot, lemon). Without visual help, the visitors have to take a boat, cross the road, find a bench. A few things were lost to our sense without the guide's disclosure, including touching glass and a car.

Today is Day 17 (21st). Yesterday was characterized by sores in mouth, but hair fell like leaves today. I had to take a broom and sweep up the hair Wife left behind using the hairdryer after morning shower. The tub, too, was covered with hair; there was no escape the strands everywhere. A bald spot is noticeable at the neck behind the head. She said her worst will be in July and August. It aches to see more than half her hair gone the next day.

It's finally the last day of the first three-week cycle. Yesterday (23rd) we finished the last reflection question for the book to be released by Tien Dao in October (比喻人生). The credit was mainly Wife's. She surprised me by finishing the last four set of questions Saturday morning, two days ago, at Starbucks while I dozed off. She can really put her mind into the work once she gets going. To reward ourself, we ordered takeaway German pork knuckle and sip a can of coke together for dinner.

Last night (25th), day 1 of second cycle -we have as good a fright as any. Wife had pains in her stomach that refused to go away from evening on, so bad she thought she was dying. I asked if we need to call emergency but she said to wait till morning. In the middle of the night her bowel movements started and the pain was flushed away with the diarrhea, just in time for a brighter morning.

I finished my last class of the quarter today (27th). Two weeks ago, one of my colleagues said this quarter goes by so fast, but I begged to differ, which reminds me not to trust our feelings. This is the busiest week of activities in school so far, with the anniversary celebrations this weekend and graduation in two weeks. So far, it has lived up to expectations. On Monday's last sharing of the quarter (25th), a faculty raised hands in worship to a lively song, surprising all in attendance. Today a 1948 graduate shared in chapel, bringing tears to the faculty's eyes.