The first day of the month started off on a bright note. We went out for breakfast, followed by Italian breakfast, took a nap and ended with a walk in the park. All went well but for a lump in the armpit at night shortly before rest. Our worst nightmare could begin again. I woke up before 5 am praying that it did not rear its ugly head again. Lots of thoughts crossed my mind, wondering what God is doing. I am sure we cannot go through an operation all over again. No doubt feelings of "being punished" surfaced. It couldn't come at a worse time. We are feeling helpless because we can only see the doctor tomorrow and chemotherapy is supposed to start in two days. Tears rolled down our eyes when we had Sunday breakfast together. Per request, I sang a song for our comfort. The emotions ran high into the night. The next day the doctor assured us the lump was unlikely cancerous.
We went on a tiring one-day trip to Macau yesterday (7th) for some unfinished business at the hospital, as requested by the school. The rains poured in the morning, stopped when we left for Macau at noon, and drizzled when we returned to Ma Wan. Into the fourth day of chemotherapy, Wife had more energy than me. I napped twice as the humidity worked overtime. Her health held up the whole time we were there but she slept on the ferry returning to Ma Wan. All praises to God. Next week is a crucial test; already her face is swollen this morning.
Into the fifth day, Wife drank two bowls of soup, with rice added, in the morning. Soup is appealing, but not food. After that the appetite disappeared the whole day, eating only a potato for lunch and bits of spare ribs/pineapple. Everything is bland except for pineapple. She feels like vomiting to meat. Wife had mocha in the afternoon after church, which made her day. Day 7 comes with acnes on the face and day 8 by swelling in the mouth. Day 9, the acnes have been aching the last two days. Wife discovered the soothing and healing power of bitter gourd for days 9 and 10, using it as paste for her hurting acnes. On day 11, after day 10's faint spell and shortness of breath, all is well. Happy as a lark, she grabbed a cup of mocha today (14th). Days 7 through 10 of the three-week cycle are supposedly the toughest to bear due to the lower white blood cell count.
The new normal since day 11 is quite pleasant even though hair is noticeable all over the tub today (day 15). On the same day we went out for Dialogue in the Dark exhibition, a worthwhile exploration into the world of the visually impaired or the blind. We were led by a blind guide into a darkened and spacious room, stepping into a grass area and then a stony (pebbles) area, feeling our way around assisted by a cane. I held on to Wife's shoulder as she led the way, later depending solely on my cane. Rich sounds of birds, rivers, and insects surround us. Without giving anything away, our guide expertly guided us as we mainly depended on our touch and cane to figure out a tree, flowers, a bench, a waterfall, fruits (orange, apple, onion, carrot, lemon). Without visual help, the visitors have to take a boat, cross the road, find a bench. A few things were lost to our sense without the guide's disclosure, including touching glass and a car.
Today is Day 17 (21st). Yesterday was characterized by sores in mouth, but hair fell like leaves today. I had to take a broom and sweep up the hair Wife left behind using the hairdryer after morning shower. The tub, too, was covered with hair; there was no escape the strands everywhere. A bald spot is noticeable at the neck behind the head. She said her worst will be in July and August. It aches to see more than half her hair gone the next day.
It's finally the last day of the first three-week cycle. Yesterday (23rd) we finished the last reflection question for the book to be released by Tien Dao in October (比喻人生). The credit was mainly Wife's. She surprised me by finishing the last four set of questions Saturday morning, two days ago, at Starbucks while I dozed off. She can really put her mind into the work once she gets going. To reward ourself, we ordered takeaway German pork knuckle and sip a can of coke together for dinner.
Last night (25th), day 1 of second cycle -we have as good a fright as any. Wife had pains in her stomach that refused to go away from evening on, so bad she thought she was dying. I asked if we need to call emergency but she said to wait till morning. In the middle of the night her bowel movements started and the pain was flushed away with the diarrhea, just in time for a brighter morning.
I finished my last class of the quarter today (27th). Two weeks ago, one of my colleagues said this quarter goes by so fast, but I begged to differ, which reminds me not to trust our feelings. This is the busiest week of activities in school so far, with the anniversary celebrations this weekend and graduation in two weeks. So far, it has lived up to expectations. On Monday's last sharing of the quarter (25th), a faculty raised hands in worship to a lively song, surprising all in attendance. Today a 1948 graduate shared in chapel, bringing tears to the faculty's eyes.
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