July 1, Jul 2013

The start to a new month speaks for our journey with cancer. There was sunshine in the morning and a storm in the afternoon. Nevertheless we enjoyed our morning swim and our afternoon walk. After four weeks of oral chemo the results are clearer. Wife experienced a tight shoulder and an acute pain most of the time, fearing the cancer has eaten to the bone. Today we prayed and sang as we asked the Lord for mercy and comfort.

The near two weeks I was gone to missions was a torture to her. I returned Saturday morning (29th) to HK airport at 2am when the plane was delayed for three hours and decided to sleep overnight at the airport because there was no transport home and the lines were too long and the outside was too humid. The trip was an astounding success. As usual the students could not get enough of expository preaching but I had to go. Leaving my post is a struggle but I could return as a volunteer.

Worst of Times, Best of Times, Jun 2013

Things happen so fast. More than two months into the recurrence of Doris’ cancer on March 25, she started her oral chemotherapy on Tuesday (28th). Praise God, she did not suffer side effects this time. Unfortunately I was not by her side because I have to fly again. I can only entrust her health and well-being into God’s loving hands, and many people who stepped up, including her sister, coworkers and church sisters. I count God’s blessings because it was the worst of times and the best of times.

 My trip to Hang was a blessed one, better than all the previous ones because the class size of 25 students is much smaller. The students are older and understand Greek grammar better because they are at the Master’s level, not Bachelor’s. The people are so friendly that they took me to the Lake twice in five days, amazing. I was very satisfied with my achievement and made new friends there. I would like to return there but my priorities have changed. First is wife, second is writing, third is missions, fourth is young coworkers. With wife’s health there would be adjustment in the ministry and missions. Overseas it is wiser to focus on D. Min classes and new places, all within five days and return by weekend.

 On the local front, I am wrestling with more responsibilities. So far the PTH ministry is right on track, the staff has done a superb job, and things have stabilized. I am still praying for the Lord to reveal to me how I can best use my gifts in Hong Kong without sacrificing missions and publication.

Not Getting Better, May 2013

Life did not get better for us this month. Today we got worse news about Doris' cancer but she did not lose hope, see below:
Date: Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Dear friends,

My surgery on April 30 was successful. Today I received the initial pathology report. News is not good.

First it is metastatic cancer. Second, it looks like the cancer cells have "changed" from the original. Third, it appears to be aggressive.

Well, what about good news then? First, the tumor is now removed from surgery. Second, the doctor recommends an oral chemotherapy, which allows for better quality of life at least for now. [Frankly speaking I prayed hard not to go through chemotherapy again!] Third, God is still my ultimate doctor. I promise myself not to lose hope that He can always heal – even Lazarus was raised from the dead after the “long delay.” God can glorify Himself in whatever way He pleases.

The verse from 1 Cor chapter 1: V9 Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 10 He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, 11 as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.” So I would need your prayers to carry me through.

I finished grading papers for this semester yesterday so that I would be ready to receive the news today. After searching on the web about metastatic cancer, I find this quote that I like. “If the fear of cancer keeps you from moving forward, enjoying life, being with loved ones, laughing, then the cancer won, even if it never comes back. But if you reclaim your life, then even if the cancer comes back, it didn't win, because YOU, the PERSON, survived.” Lisa Weissmann, M.D.

So I decide to move forward, please pray for wisdom to learn how to LIVE (how to reorganize my life and reset my priorities). This Sunday I am going to speak at a church on Mother’s Day and I will still go to the single-parent retreat next week. Pray for God’s presence and may He use me as an instrument. I treasure these opportunities even more – They are God's gifts to give me meaning and reason to live!

I am enclosing some of my journal notes if you want to read the "full version" of my experience.

Blessings,

Doris


May 25th letter:

On Thursday I received the final pathology report. The cancer is indeed recurrence of the past one. I am thankful that it was not HER2 requiring an expensive target chemotherapy with bad effects on the heart. Instead I will begin oral chemotherapy beginning next Monday.

1) Please pray that the Lord will use the oral chemotherapy to kill cancer cells (there is no guarantee) and that the side effects will be minimal and tolerable. Only God can heal me!

2) Please pray for wisdom to do only the tasks the Lord lead me. I decide I will not go back to the www.goodfightdoris.blogspot.com because I will not be “fighting” against cancer as much. Rather I am focusing on finishing the race. [2 Tim 4: 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.] Someday when the time for departure is near, may the Lord help me pour out my life like a drink offering.

3) Please pray for both Victor and I as we adjust our ministry commitments. May the Lord grant us clear direction responding to His call.

PS I am attaching my journal for those who want to know my learning process for the past 2 weeks.

Bad News, Apr 2013

The bad news of Doris' recurrence of cancer last week (25th) hit me like a ton of bricks. The first week was crying week. Tomorrow (3rd) we will see her doctor and then next week (8th) to Princess Margaret Hospital. Her pessimistic regret is that she might not be there for me just as I am making it in missions and in Hong Kong. May the Lord protect my precious wife. Please pray for her as she is rightfully anxious and fearful.

Close friends send their regards:
Victor and Doris:
Frist of all, thank you for including me in this difficult update. I am deeply saddened by it. I will enter your names into my daily prayer list. It must be very hard for you to recieve this news. We don't know why this recurrence. We do know that we have to trust in the Lord who causes all things to work together for the good of our lives. Take care. We are in this journey with you. Thank you again for sharing. Herman (and Eleanor)

Dear Victor:
I am so sorry to hear of the recurrence of cancer on Doris. Michelle and I will be praying for her healing. May our loving and almighty Lord extend His powerful hands to help and allow us all to experience His love and glory. Please keep us posted so we can all be together in this whole deal! We love you.
In His loving embrace
Michael

Brother
Known It or not, Doris has been always in my prayers. Will pray more. Cancer life can be a blessing life. I am sure Doris has been blessed by our Lord, as she always been.
Augustine

Two days ago (28th) I received a delightful thank you from a coworker:
Dear mentors

Here comes one of few times when i feel "finally i can shine". Or i will prefer saying"it feels good reflecting the Lord's bright sunlight" if i do, my site, even though it is just like a tiny spark, i sincerely thank you. For you have crafted and sharpened me, and i thank God for having put me in your hammering, lifting, comforting, forgiving, loving, guiding hands.
a humble student of yours
Doris' operation is set for Tuesday (30), the last day of the month before May 1st, which is a public holiday.
It will be on her lymph node to determine what kind of cancer it is and also on a tumor to determine if it is benign or malignant. So our lives will turn upside down once again but God's peace was with her the last two weeks, that's the perfect present God gave us in adversity. She shared to her friends:
"Thank you for all your prayers and words of encouragement that carry me through this time. I am so loved!!


It was a long wait for the results of the biopsy report. In the meantime a lot of people have prayed for me (our staff fellowship, our Macau BSF prayer group, our church, and even friends in China!). The Lord has given me peace to receive the report – indeed there is malignancy. I am scheduled for an operation on April 30 and may the Lord take out whatever can be removed through the hands of the surgeon. Then there may be some type of follow-up chemotherapy. The good news is – right now it does not look like it is metastatic. So there are treatment options. During this wait, I pray for healing (and certainly desire miraculous healing) but slowly I begin to pray more and more to surrender to God’s sovereign will and to accept His plan for me with humble heart. For the past year I have been reading a little book Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence. I am only beginning to learn…it is not easy. Some of you know I like to plan, organize and execute (basically I like to be in control!) I pray that I would serve God only in the way He wants, even in sickness and in death – to serve by fully submitting to His perfect will. It is tough but by His grace, He will help me.

I was invited to share on Mother’s Day at a church in Macau – half of this church is a group of youngsters from an orphanage/group home. I was also about to lead a retreat on May 17 for a fellowship group for widows & divorced mothers. I pray so hard to keep these commitments. In contrast, it is quite easy to let go of some academic leadership opportunities at work. God uses this to show me where my heart really belongs. Three years ago when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer, I was just about to start a bible study group for mainland students. I promised myself I would return after treatment. Today I witness our staff, local church and missionaries involved in this campus ministry. So I trust that I would witness God’s work even more this time! I want to ask you to pray for a Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) pilot class in Macau. I also pray hard for this one because I am supposed to get training in U.S. with another person in September in order to start this ministry. The Lord has led me to apply for sabbatical or no pay leave in order to start this ministry! Initially I resisted and just when I was finally ready to send in the application for training, the PET/CT scan deterred me. If you have had chemotherapy before you would know it knocks you out – I don’t see how I can possibly go. So I pray that the Lord would either move another person to go or spare me. But if He would send me, now I know it is a great blessing and privilege. May God make a way for us to have a BSF ministry in Macau!

Again my theme verse is (Philippians 1:18-20). “Yes and I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and God’s provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.”

Nervous Time, Mar 2013

March has been nervous time because of Doris health, but she has a conditonal clean bill of health last week. It will be an up and down time until a final clearance from her doctor on an upcoming visit. The Lord has given her a ministry lifeline that she is wanting to pursue. As for me, I have firmly planted myself in PTH minstry, so things are stable at the moment. Preaching classes have started and learning is slow, so I have my work cut out for me. I hope I can missions, mentoring and PTH work without losing one or the other or having to choose one or the other presently.

A precious letter from a recent missions trip:
只想講句多謝

親愛的兄弟
謝謝你多天的照顧，我長小了，回復童年那顆無愁無慮的赤子之心，對未來，一點不通，也不去想，因為知那不是自已可以計劃的，就好像回到十七、八歲的那日子，只知上進，在每一個機會下，上進，上進。
唯一希望的，是做到更謙卑的，更委身的，更注重關係的，避開以前曾犯的錯誤，上進！謝謝 brother。

Losing Voice, Feb 2013

I returned yesterday (2nd) from a special missions trip to QH, my third trip there. Our bond deepend as a result and I made friends there. The cold there was too much for me, so I lost my voice the second day there. I remember I was sick at the same place last year. I brought some of my books to sell at half price, delighting the coworkers. I have a strange feeling this will my last trip there because I have never been to the same group three times.

Also I received news last month that the first printing of 1,500 copies of my Couples book (奇異姻典) sold out within a year of its release, uncommon in the Internet era. Usually an author is given five years to sell out a book. The editor was just as shocked because it sold out faster than the first book (比喻人生) I released in HK two years ago.

It has been a blessed Chinese New Year this year, the first my wife and I get to go out a lot two years after her cancer. We had more to do because her sister and brother-in-law from San Diego are in town. The places we visited include Stanley by ourselves and Peak and Sai Kung with relatives. At Sai Kung we saw at least four lion dances and all food was nearly sold out. Her health held up. I remember our trip to China the first year after her illness. It didn't work out and she could not recover physically for a long time due to the stress.

I was sad to hear that my DTS prof Howard Hendricks passed away on Feb 20. The roots of my Bible study skills were inspired by him. I made a saying Time to Rise and Shine in memory of the most influential Bible study mentor. It reminds me to take up the challenge to teach others. The other picture is with the most revered preaching professor of the world, Haddon Robinson, who is in Hong Kong to share his preaching insight.

 

 

2013, Jan 2013

It's the fourth day to the new year. Today I tracked back to Macau to help wife clean her apartment and moved some chairs home. It was a good day because we got everything done. I ran the fastest ten minutes from Sheung Wan Macao ferry to catch the Ma Wan ferry. It was unbelievable, I was out of breath. At home we had no food, so we had German knuckle takeout, which was a special treat. It revived wife from her recent bout of two week's sickness.

My top seven for last year:
Mentoring
Missions
Publication
PTH ministry
Residency
Ownership

A most encouraging letter received on January 2 from a renowned expositor:

葉牧師平安：

首先衷心多謝你請麥牧師轉交給我的書籍。你和師母合著很有意思，她從心理學的分析為你的解經加添繽紛的色彩，也令你的大作變得更實用。謝謝你的餽贈。

上星期五有機會和你交談，我很開心，因感受你對神的國度的關切，尤其是幫助年輕的傳道人改善講道及知道如何可以有效和長久地事奉。你最近在《金燈臺》發表的講章是〈相信才能看見〉，我卻未和你交談前已看見及欣賞你的事奉；一笑。

現在我年紀大機器壞，已到了你所描述：眼睛眼花或失去視力，要學習的是如何因相信而超越衰老和身體上的殘障。感謝神，一代過去一代又來，神興起不少像你這樣有心事奉的傳道人，令華人教會可以繼續為神拓展。

祝
事主力上加力！

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 鄺_ _敬謝


Prayer and Singspiration with 60,000 others at Tamar government headquarters park.

Year End, Dec 2012

This month must be the slowest I have started blogging; it is already the fifth, but I have been busy with missions and seminary meeting. I enjoy meeting up once again with teachers I last saw a year ago. Some were new, but it is good to get to know new faces. I also met my mentor, close friends and a relative in between meetings.

I will be busier than ever as I have taken on an advisory role in a ministry officially last week (5th). Juggling two churches is not an easy matter, but I cannot choose because it is God's work and I have bonded with both. Well, I just do what I can until one group has their ministry needs met and new workers in.

Today (13th) is the last day for the Tsuen Wan to Ma Wan ferry service, which is a terrible thing for the residents. I and buddy Walter took our last ride together, reminiscing of the rides I took when I used to work in Yuen Long. Alas time, modernization and greed turned everything swwet to sinister. Residents have to transit to who knows where to get to their destination from now on.

It's been a quiet Christmas break, but I got to enjoy Christams eve carols from two nearby churches in Ma Wan. These two days we sat in coffee shops, ate the turkey I ordered, and walked the neighborhood, as slow as it gets. On Christmas day we will boil soup to counter the cold weather. Wife has not been feeling well the whole week, so soup is good for her. Here are two Christmas evangelistic videos sent to me:

Home Sweet Home, Nov 2012

For more than a week I have been at the Epicenter teaching two classes in Expository Preaching for two weeks, my first time there. I have been so active in Hong Kong that slowing down was hard. Praying helped. It was difficult for me to get going this time because I had not done two weeks for the last six months but the reward is big. Buying my book earlier, the students were so excited that I was here.

On day 2 (20) we went to the disaster area, where I could not help but cry as I laid flowers at the memorial, so did the driver who has been there four years now. It affected him terribly as he quit his KTV operations to volunteer for three months that turned out to be more than four years in ministry.

I have recorded four testimonies of relief workers with my new phone.

The students' interest are keen but they were slow to learn initially, especially for fulltime ministers. I did my best to train them and broke through in three days. I am so proud of both classes of altogether 50 students as they are of me, seeing them transformed literally before my eyes.

Oh I have a mouth blister because everything here is hot and spicy. I also got a haircut because a student's wife is a professional. I promised if I were to return maybe two years from now, I would cut it to army length, total reformation. I know it is time to leave today (1) because my blister is gone.

By God's grace I have trained 450 students in Asia, 150 of them in structural diagramming. One day I hope the students will take over my role. I have also taken a more active role to encourage students to pray with me at 630a before classes start at 8a. It is weird because I was rarely that direct. The students here are very friendly, which helped me to settle in. On the downside I will miss church for two weeks now because classes are held on Sunday as well.

This month has been quite uplifting for me becasue I have also gone to Grassland and trained close to a hundred there, even though half of them were just there to make up the numbers. The only disadvantage was that I was away from home for too long, close to three weeks, and I missed family and friends. After the second trip I realized I was the rigth candidate to do missions, because I am the right age and with the right personality. It took me a year to feel right at home being away even though the response has been nothing less than rousing.

 

Mooncake Festival, Oct 2012

The first of the month (1st) is a holiday in Hong Kong. I was invited by two parties to go travel, but I do Wife's tired body cannot make it, so we do the best we can locally. Yesterday I received two mooncakes, so I had to start eating and devoured the small one and two small taros for lunch after breakfast with relatives in the morning. Surprisingly more things happened yesterday rather than today. The three Southlanders (Augustine, Alan and I previously lived in Souther California) sang "The Impossible Dream" at our church carnival. Augustine was the star because he stuck to his bass part while we blew our tenor parts and I even fluffed the lines. Mostly, it was fun and joy. It has been more than ten years since I sang in a choir of some sort. The parts were beautiful, wished I had put in more practice. On Tuesday Wife asked me what is my impossible dream. I said to develop future expositors and lead the Chinese church into exposition. Now that is a tall order.

Three generations ago my grandparents immigrated from Donguan to Nanyang and I was Americanized in the States for 21 years, but on Thursday (4th) I became a Macau brother. My Chinese roots are reconnected in a strange and wonderful way. Now I have a reason to remain in Asia and to resume in missions. In the meantime I am still determined to be a Hong Kong brother as well since I spend most of my time here now. Maybe I should do more for Macau but I am up to my neck.

The ferry tragedy was too painful for everyone. Tears just dripped from my eyes when I read some stories, especially one I handtyped from a newspaper in the library titled "Trapped in Sea with Rope Around My Neck, I Cried "Lord Save Me." Hopefully there is healing for those who read this story.

Prayer has led me to two visitors to church and two wondrous preaching sessions on Sunday (14). I managed to bring a relative and a neighbor to a gospel meeting on Saturday (13). Even though they did not accept Christ but I was satisfied to know that God had answered my prayer because I prayed before inviting them, not ask them first. Further, for the last month I have prayed more for the audience than the sermon. This is a breath of fresh air. I can imagine how immature I was before, caring for performance rather than people. Now I pray for my next mission trip and my next church audience.